birthday wishes for daughter

Happy birthday, darling girl! You came into my life and changed everything, making me see true beauty for the first time…and every day ever since.


birthday wishes for daughter

Like a cherished memory, you become even sweeter, more precious and lovelier with time. Happy birthday, my sweet darling.


birthday wishes for daughter

May you continue to put smile in our faces and be a constant reminder that we did a very good job in raising you. Happy birthday sweetie!


birthday wishes for daughter

A daughter completes a heavenly and humble abode. Happy birthday!


birthday wishes for daughter

You make everything about life sweeter than all the candy in the world. Happy birthday, my little sweetie!


birthday wishes for daughter

Glowing with an inner radiance, you shine bright, lighting up every life you touch, especially ours. Happy birthday, sweet princess.

 


birthday wishes for friends

Happy birthday to my best friend, who is better than the best of the best! May your special day be better than the best you’ve ever celebrated.


birthday wishes for friends

Happy, happy birthday to my amazing friend and an even more amazing individual!


birthday wishes for friends

Happy birthday to a person that is charming, talented and witty and reminds me a lot of myself.


birthday wishes for friends

My dear, dear friend, you have always been there for me. You and I redefine what friendship means. Happy birthday!

 


birthday wishes for friends

May every moment of your life be as wonderful as our friendship. Happy birthday!


birthday wishes for friends

Happy birthday, pal! Let this special day bring you years upon years of happiness, health and prosperity.


birthday wishes for friends

Your birthday, like our friendship, should be a celebration of everything good and plenty (like every piece of your birthday cake and every bite of your birthday ice cream).


birthday wishes for friends

Life would not be as wonderful without a friend like you. I’m glad you’re in my life…and I’m glad I’m in yours. Happy birthday!


birthday wishes for friends

Money can’t buy you friendship. Friendship is free…if you can find it in your heart. I’ve found it with you. Happy birthday, pal.


birthday wishes for friends

You are a gift that has come into my life. Now every day I get to enjoy the greatest gift of all… our friendship. Happy birthday!


baby jokes

Didn’t study for a test. Still get a higher grade than someone who did.


baby jokes

Shows up late to class. The professor arrives later than I do.


baby jokes

Gets stuck in pot hole. Finds ten dollars.


baby jokes

Put 5 dollars in pocket. Pull out 10.


baby jokes

Ignored chain mail. Didn’t die.


baby jokes

Took out groceries from the car in one trip.


baby jokes

Set alarm clock on 6: 30 AM. Wakes up 6: 29 AM


baby jokes

Can’t afford to buy an IPhone. Gets to build them.


baby jokes

When you find out a boy likes you.


baby jokes

Don’t know a question on a test. Answer in another question.


baby jokes

Boss walks by when I’m actually working.


american football joke

Q: Why did god invent football?
A: So that married men have some physical contact in their lives.


american football joke

Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 % temper and 10 % mental.


american football joke

Pro linemen are so huge that it takes only four of them to make a dozen.

 


american football joke

The only way they can gain yardage is to run their game films backward.


american football joke

The place kicker attempted a field goal, but missed. He was so mad that he tried to kick himself but missed again.


american football joke

Football is a game of inches, and that’s how some teams move the ball.


We have so many players on the disabled list that the team’s bus can use handicapped parking.


Honey, I know I told you that I loved you more than football, but that was during the strike.


american football joke

Our linebacker is so strong he can even pitch horseshoes while they’re on the horse.


american football joke

I would have played football, but I have an intestinal problems – no guts.


american football joke

Old quarterbacks never die. They just pass away.


american football joke

Our players have a lot on the ball. Unfortunately, it’s not usually their hands.


Little Johnny joke 1

The teacher asked Little Johnny: “How can you prove the earth is round?”
Little Johnny replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”


Little Johnny joke 2

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”


Little Johnny joke 3

Teacher: “If you got 10 dollars from 10 people, what would you have Little Johnny “A new bike.”


Little Johnny joke 4

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”


Little Johnny joke 5

Little Johnny’s father said, “let me see your report card.” Johnny replied, “I don’t have it.” “Why not?” His father asked. “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”


Little Johnny joke 6

The teacher called Little Johnny to her desk. She said: “This essay you’ve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written.” “Of course it is.” said Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”


Little Johnny joke 7

Teacher: “Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. You’ve done it only eight times.” Johnny: “Looks like my counting isn’t too good either.”


Little Johnny joke 8

Little Johnny’s teacher asked, “What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?” Little Johnny replied, “A teacher.”


Little Johnny joke 9

Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?” Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?” He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”


Little Johnny joke 10

A pastor was talking to a group of kids about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, “Where do you want to go?” Alice said, “Heaven!”  “And what do you have to be to get there?” asked the preacher. “Six feet under!” yelled Little Johnny.


I get wet when drying. I get dirty when wiping. What am I?


I am the beginning of everything, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place. What am I?


Anyone can hold me, even without their hands, yet no one can do it for long. What am I?


My first is often at the front door. My second is found in the cereal family. My third is what most people want. My whole is one of the United States.


I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?


Look at me. I can bring a smile to your face, a tear to your eye, or even a thought to your mind. But, I can’t be seen. What am I?


I have six faces but not even one body connected, 21 eyes in total but cannot see. What am I?


I pass before the sun, yet make no shadow. What am I?


I like to twirl my body but keep my head up high. After I go in, everything becomes tight. What am I?


doctor jokes

9:00 Appointment? I’ll see you at 9: 45.


doctor jokes

A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic so she gets a divorce.


doctor jokes

What’s the difference between a mechanic and a doctor? A mechanic fixes his mistakes… A doctor buries his.


doctor jokes

When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.


doctor jokes

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.


doctor jokes

Doctor’s office: All our records are electronic now just fill out these 12 forms.


doctor jokes

Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”


doctor jokes

Doc says, “Joe, I got some bad news for you. You’ve got six months to live.” Joe says, “Six months? Doc, I can’t pay your bill in six months, I can’t do it!” Doc says, “OK, I give you a year…”


doctor jokes

When I said “I was afraid of the dentist”, I mean the bill.


doctor jokes

Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office of full of portraits by Picasso.


Tricky Riddle

If there are 12 fish and half of them drown, how many are there?


Tricky Riddle

There was a plane crash every single person died. Who survived?


Tricky Riddle

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?


Tricky Riddle

A man wants to enter an exclusive club, but he doesn’t know the password. Another man walks to the door and the doorman says 12, the man says 6, and is let in. Another man walks up and the doorman says 6, the man says 3, and is let in. Thinking he had heard enough, he walks up to the door and the doorman says 10, he says 5, and he isn’t let in. What should he have said?


Tricky Riddle

A thief enters a shop and threatens the clerk, forcing him to open the safe. The clerk says, “The code for the safe is different every day, and if you hurt me you’ll never get the code”. But the thief manages to guess the code on his own. How did he do it?


Tricky Riddle

Bobby likes Jimmy but not Joe, apples but not pears, jeeps but not vans, shinny but not hockey, tennis but not squash. Who will he like, Sara or Sally?


Tricky Riddle

There were 5 children in a room. Iris drew a picture, Barry played video games, Andrew played chess, and Trina read a book. What is the fifth child, Mindy, doing?


Tricky Riddle

My neighbor Bob is a blacksmith. He is 45 years old, 7 ft. tall, and eats all the time. Guess what does he weigh?


Tricky Riddle

A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet. How come?


Motivational Quotes

“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”


Motivational Quotes

“Don’t watch the clock, do what it does. Keep Going.”


Motivational Quotes

If it won’t challenge you, it won’t change you.


Motivational Quotes

“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of persistence.”


Motivational Quotes

Stop wishing, start doing.


Motivational Quotes

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.”


Motivational Quotes

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”


Motivational Quotes

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”


Motivational Quotes

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.”


Motivational Quotes

“If you take no risks, you’ll never be hurt, but you won’t really live, either.”


Motivational Quotes

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.”


Motivational Quotes

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles.


Motivational Quotes

“Nothing is more beautiful than the smile that has struggled through the tears.”


Celebrity Quote

Music isn’t for the eyes, it’s for the ears.


Celebrity Quote

Everybody has an addiction, mine happens to be success.


Celebrity Quote

Everybody has an addiction, mine happens to be success.


Celebrity Quote

People haven’t always been there for me but music always has.


Celebrity Quote

Teenagers only have to focus on themselves― it’s not until we get older that we realize that other people exist.


Celebrity Quote

When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I kind of wanted to be a vampire.


Celebrity Quote

People are put into your life for seasons, for different reasons, and to teach you lessons.


Celebrity Quote

Well, a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented, but he’s not famous.


Celebrity Quote

There’s a drive in me that won’t allow me to do certain things that are easy.


Celebrity Quote

I represent the ‘Wonder Woman’ of the new world.


Celebrity Quote

The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.


Celebrity Quote

If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. It’s the hard that makes it great.


Celebrity Quote

I’m a human being and I fall in love and sometimes I don’t have control of every situation.


Celebrity Quote

Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.


Celebrity Quote

Don’t ever doubt yourselves or waste a second of your life. It’s too short, and you’re too special.


Celebrity Quote

You know it’s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you’re not part of their happiness.


Celebrity Quote

Money and success don’t change people; they merely amplify what is already there.


Celebrity Quote

I’m far from being god, but I work god damn hard.


Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.


Friendship makes life's storms easier.

Friendship makes life’s storms easier.


Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life

Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you; spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.


Some souls just understand each other upon meeting -n.r. hart

Some souls just understand each other upon meeting.


6. A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation; doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.

A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation; doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part.


7. A best friend isn’t someone who’s just always there for you. It’s someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself.

A best friend isn’t someone who’s just always there for you. It’s someone who understands you a bit more than you understand yourself.


8. "No friendship is an accident."- O. Henry

No friendship is an accident.


"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." ― Elie Wiesel

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.


10. There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family

There are friends, there is family, and then there are friends that become family


11. Friendship is all about trusting each other, helping each other, loving each other and being crazy together

Friendship is all about trusting each other, helping each other, loving each other and being crazy together.


A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow

A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow


"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.


Best friends are the people you can do anything and nothing with and still have the best time

Best friends are the people you can do anything and nothing with and still have the best time

 


Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest, it's about who walked in to your life, said "I'm here for you," and PROVED it

Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest, it’s about who walked in to your life, said “I’m here for you,” and PROVED it.


There are friendships imprinted in our hearts that will never be diminished by time and distance. – Dodinsky.

There are friendships imprinted in our hearts that will never be diminished by time and distance.


Prom Quotes

Prom is an exciting time for teenagers. The perfect dress is any dress that they feel beautiful and confident wearing.

 


Prom Quotes

Prom has all the elements of a popular story. It reeks of all-Americanness, tension, drama. It has romance. Pretty dresses. Dancing. Limos. High school. Coming of age.


Prom Quotes

Looking at my own prom photograph reminds me of how significant that moment was – and how fleeting life is.


Prom Quotes

It is one of those strange and magical nights where you are never quite sure what is going to happen.


Prom Quotes

People are not conforming to the traditional ideas of prom. They are more individualistic, more willing to do their own thing. It’s just a complete change in our culture.


Prom Quotes

‘Prom’ is a movie that follows a bunch of high-schoolers’ lives leading up to the prom, the climax of the movie. It focuses all their struggles and the social pressures that prom creates on their lives.


Prom Quotes

I was dumped at my senior prom – I was 18 and in love. We danced all night, then she got back together with her ex. It broke my heart.


Prom Quotes

I’m a big fan of regular school and regular education. I just learn better in a classroom where I can talk to other students. I want to go to prom and dances and have that social aspect.


Prom Quotes

I think the prom is very serious also. It’s an American ritual, it’s a rite of passage, and it’s very much a part of this country.


Love Quotes for Husband

If my life was a ship, you would be the anchor that holds me in place and the sails which take me on a beautiful journey.


love-quotes-for-husband

If I know what love is, it is because of you.


wonderful-husband-quotes

I look at you and I’m home


i-love-my-husband-quotes

You give me the kind of feelings people write novels about

 


loving-quotes-for-husband

I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I choose both


love-message-for-husband

I love you with all my butt. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger.


proud-of-my-husband-quotes

Every day of my life is perfect because it starts and ends with loving you.


love-my-husband-quotes

Never ask why I love you. Just accept that I do, and that I will for the rest of my life.


loving-my-husband-quotes

I want to be with you. It is as simple and as complicated as that.


quotes-for-husband

I still fall for you every day.


quotes-for-husbands

We may not say it as often as we used to, but I just wanted you to know that I love you.


i-love-you-husband

When life seems full of problems, your love revives me and keeps me strong.


quote-for-husband

If I could sit across the porch from God, I’d thank Him for lending me you.


husband-love-quotes

We fall in love by chance. We stay in love by choice.

 


husbands-love-quotes

To my frog prince: I love you so greatly that I would have married you even if I had to kiss the frog version of you first.

 


best-husband-quotes

Even though I have seen a million people today, the only person I can think about it you.


husband-quotes

Times are hard, but sharing them with you makes everything easier. The most difficult of burdens are made simple when I am with you.

 


best-husband-quote

You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.


love-husband-quotes

If I did anything right in my life it was when I gave my heart to you.


loving-husband

Every day that passes reminds me to thank the universe for giving me a husband as loving and as wonderful as you are.


love-msg-for-husband

I always wake up smiling …and I think it’s your fault.


lovely-message-for-husband

Behind every great husband is an encouraging wife.


Love Quotes for Husband

A good husband makes a good wife.


Love Quotes for Husband

I love being my husband’s wife.


Love Quotes for Husband

Amidst the suffocation caused by life’s problems, your love comes as a breath of fresh air.


Love Quotes for Husband

From all of life’s troubles, you have given me bail. My life has become, a lovely fairytale.


Love Quotes for Husband

The best part of our marriage is that the look in your flirty eyes still makes me feel like the most beautiful girl alive.


Love Quotes for Husband

Who cares if opposites attract or not? Even if we weren’t opposites, I would’ve still loved you a lot.


Love Quotes for Husband

The perfect husband as described by magazines doesn’t exit. That’s because he has already been taken – by me.


Love Quotes for Husband

All the men in this world should learn a thing or two, about being a perfect husband from you.


Love Quotes for Husband

I can stop indulging in chocolate, but never in you.


Thank you quotes for friends

TYFBA – thank you for being so awesome!


My life is so blessed with some of the most amazing people. Thank you for being part of my journey.


The best kind of friends are those that enter your life, and help you to see a blue sky where before there was a cloudy sky. They are the ones that have so much faith in you that you start having faith in yourself.  These are the friends we should be grateful for.


Thank you quotes

I thank you for your part in my journey.


Sometimes saying thank you is not enough to express all the gratitude I feel to you, so I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have given me.


A special thank you from my heart, to a person so special in my life. To a person who means a lot. A special thank you from me to you, for making life feel like new. A very big thank you!


I just wanted to say thank you for being my friend.


Your friendship is a special gift. Generously given, happily accepted, and deeply appreciated!


To my friend… Worries in my life are halved because I can share them with you. Happiness in my life is doubled because you never let me feel blue. Thank you!


I sometimes forget to say thank you to the people who make the biggest difference in my life. Who help to make the bad stuff bearable, and the good stuff much more fun. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend!


Knowing that I have friends who appreciate and love me, is the best feeling in the world. thank you to all my wonderful friends. You guys are wonderful!


My friend… Thanks for being patient with my craziness and unusual habits. Because of your friendship I have learned to love and accept myself the way I really am.


When life was tough on me and I was all alone… You came in and guided me through the ups and downs. Thank you so much!


Thank you quotes and sayings

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be grateful.


Today I am grateful for all the people who are loving and kind to me.


Today, take time to thank the people that have done you wrong. Without knowing it, they have made you stronger.


There’s nothing better than a good person. They can change your whole day. They can change your whole life.


Thankful quotes

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.


You are wealthy, when you are happy and content with what you have.


So very thankful.


I’m blessed beyond belief.


Here’s to those that inspire you and don’t even know it.


I’m thankful for my challenges because without them I wouldn’t have found my strength.


Thank you! I’m touched beyond words.


Because of you, I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more.


Thank you phrases

Thank you for all the small things.


I couldn’t find a card that expresses all the gratitude I feel for you. I need a card that gives you a big hug.


The best things in life are the people you love, the places you’ve seen, and the memories you’ve made  along the way.


Thank you for simply being there. You didn’t try to fix me, but just let me feel supported and cared for.


Thank you! In appreciation of you, and all that you do.


Thank you from the bottom of my heart… Although it has no bottom for you.


Thank you – I appreciate all you do for me!


So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart.


Thank you for being an AMAZING husband.


Thank you for brightening my world.


I am currently under construction. Thank you for your patience.


Thanks for not giving up on me.


If only you knew how much the little moments with you matter to me.


I am thankful for you.


appreciation quotes

Thank you for being the reason I smile.


You’re a whole lot of lovely. Yes, you.


Thank you for the beautiful ways you touch my life.


Everything comes to you. In the right moment. Be patient. Be grateful.


A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.


Dear Universe, I thank you for everything in my life, from the bottom of my heart.


Upon waking, let your first thought be: Thank You.


Gratitude unlocks the treasures of life.


Dear Universe, thank you for the miracles in my life.


Rejoice always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances.


Dear Lord, I want to thank you for the beautiful people you have blessed me with. Amen.


I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be.


Dear God, I want to take a moment, not to ask for anything form you, but simply to say thank you for everything.


Dear Lord, I don’t know how I would do it without you. Thank you!


Dear past, I’m grateful for your lessons. Dear future, I’m ready for you. Dear God, thank you for giving me another chance.


Dear God, thank you for today, yesterday, and tomorrow. My family, my joys, and my sorrows. For all that made me who I am.


Thanking God everyday for my family, my health, my trials, my success, my tears, my laughter. Everything which makes me and matures me.


Always remember to thank God for what he has give you that you didn’t ask for!


Memories… You are gone. But thank you for all these soft, sweet things you have left behind. In my home, in my head, in my heart.


We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives


Be thankful for what you have. You’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.


Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty.


To all my doubters, thank you very much because you guys have also pushed me.


God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say ‘Thank you’?


Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, has instilled within each of us a powerful biological instinct to reproduce; this is her way of assuring that the human race, come what may, will never have any disposable income.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children’.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can’t find me until after high school.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

I am happy son that you were not so famous enough to adopt a baby instead of having me.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

I am grateful for reducing your alcohol consumption while I was living inside your belly.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.


Funny Mothers Day Quotes

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.


Quotes about Failure

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.


Failure is the key to success; each mistake teaches us something.

 


Quotes about Failure

Success is not a good teacher, failure makes you humble.


Quotes about Failure

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.