Be brave, son! Order room service.

When I collect workman’s comp, some lady has to fill out the paperwork. That’s her job. If it wasn’t for me, she’d be unemployed.

You see, this is the point I’m making with the liberal elite. In the war between the have-nots and the have everything’s, their guilt is our ammunition. Never forget that.

Daddy Frank, you are a serious badass and an essential member of this family.

If you’re waiting for a new organ, you are just interfering with God’s plan.

Be lucky you don’t get gonorrhea from your cell mate. Spoken with love, son.

Pretty soon, there’s not gonna be any Jew or Aryan or Hindu or Muslim or Mexican or Blacks. There’s just gonna be the rich and the fucked, and our grandson is already one of the fucked.

Bullying is a vital part of every ecosystem. It teaches kids resilience. The world is a rough place. Bullying is like getting inoculated. It’s a vaccine.

Don’t let your emotions completely obscure the barbaric roots of the sexual act. Don’t lose touch with the seeds of our animal nature.

Why was the broom late for the meeting? It overswept.

This is not a dictatorship. This is America. Give me liberty, or give me meth.

Revolutions don’t come wrapped in a cute ribbon. You want to bring down power structures? You want to get in the face of people who are peddling corroded ideals? You need a uniform that screams authenticity.

Love is not supposed to be cute. Love is supposed to be raw and destructive.

Doing things you don’t want to do is how you make a relationship work.

If gay people having sex is what offends people the most, they should let them get married because anyone who’s been married knows the sex is downhill from there.

I believe in a force that thinks it’s greater than myself.

If God didn’t want things up our ass, He would’ve given the rectum a gag reflex.

Every day is an opportunity you don’t get back, so don’t blow it working.

Hello boys. The front door was locked so I came in the back. No pun intended.