Clever Quotes

There’s nothing like a really clever joke or one-liner to make us laugh, and that’s why we the team at Quotereelreally enjoyed collecting these clever quotes. Most of them are funny, some of them are thoughtful, and some are thought-provoking.

Clever humor is often based on sarcasm, which is a way of saying something different from what is actually meant. But nowadays sarcasm can be very crude, so we decided to choose only clever sarcastic quotes, or quotes based on irony, which is the gentler cousin of sarcasm. We hope you enjoy these quotes as much as we do, and if you do, be sure to check out our funny friendship quotes.

Often the best clever quotes are actually making fun of the person saying them, which shows that some very clever people enjoy making fun of themselves, instead of others. Humor is a great way to soften the blow of becoming aware of one’s faults and shortcomings, and so helps us to forgive ourselves for not being perfect. We all screw up sometimes, and it’s great to see the funny side of the situation and then move on.

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Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.

It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.

Arguing with a fool proves there are two.

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It’s funny how after an argument is over, you think about more clever things you should have said.

I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them

Patience: what you have when there are too many witnesses

If you like me, then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.

When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.

The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.

Lauren Lee

Sometimes the most clever thing to say is nothing at all.

Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?

My clever comebacks usually surface an hour too late

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!

If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.

Never spit in a man’s face unless his mustache is on fire.

The less damns you give, the happier you will be

Mr. Kinkle

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.

Beware the clever man that makes the wrong look right.

An eye for an eye will ultimately, leave the whole world blind.

They say never judge a book by its cover but they also said a picture is worth a thousand words.

“All men are the same” should be “All men I like are the same.” Girls, let’s be honest.

Sink or swim. Either way, you are going to get wet.

In our pursuit to find the enemy we come face to face with ourselves.

It’s a great act of cleverness to be able to conceal being clever

Love is like a rose in the winter, only the strong survive.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying

If life gives you lemons…..
Grab some salt, and bring on the tequila shots!!

Unknown

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

How does a man stand on his own for when he doesn’t know how to ask for help.

Leroy Anderson

I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

An inefficient virus kills its host. A clever virus stays with it.

James Lovelock

Educate men without religion and you make of them but clever devils.

Duke of Wellington

You’re pretty close to perfect when you’re standing next to me.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

Oscar Wilde

Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.

Holly Black

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.

Criss Jami

The thing about sarcasm is that it has to be really clever in order to be classy. If it’s well done, someone can insult you without you even realizing it. Many funny TV shows rely on clever one-liners and sarcasm to make us laugh. Great examples are “The Big Bang Theory”, “Two and a Half Men”, and “Friends”. Often the jokes on those shows are so clever that you need to think about them for a moment before you get them. When sarcasm is witty and cleverly done, as in those cases, it is a very high form of humor that is extremely gratifying for most of us. Somehow it’s really enjoyable to make fun of each other in very clever ways.

Many studies done by psychologists show that irony, sarcasm, and other forms of clever humor are associated with a high level of creativity and intelligence. So, it’s not only fun to enjoy clever jokes, but it also develops our IQ and creative skills. What could be better than getting smarter while having fun? Go right ahead and make fun or your friends and yourself, just remember to do it in a clever way.

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