A morning of awkwardness is far better then a night of loneliness.

Are you sexually harassing me right now? Because if you are, I think I’m gonna have to report you. For giving me a serious boner.

It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. I’ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.

All those things that werent supposed to happen? They happened. What happens next is up to you.

The person that I want to have everything to do with, wants nothing to do with me.

Down the road, job opportunities tend to dwindle for those in the more naked professions.

When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons.

What, there’s no bodily functions at the deanery? Just catered affairs?

I probably won’t go down in history, but I will go down on your sister.

She said one thing and I said another and the next thing I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life in the middle of that conversation.