Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Thanksgiving is drawing very near and it’s something very important and grand to miss. Well, this celebration only happens once a year— every fourth Thursday of November in the USA and second Monday of October in Canada. Thanksgiving is not just an ordinary occasion, but rather a big one that gathers the family in unison with a dining table full of mouthwatering dishes like roasted turkey, pumpkin pie, fruit salad, and a home filled with fall ornaments like carved pumpkins, lighted candles, and dried leaves.

Every Thanksgiving also marks the opening of the festive season— Christmas, so shopping is very popular among all walks of life. But aside from the shopping madness, there are many activities you will surely enjoy of like attending the ever impressive Macy’s Parade, travelling with your family, go cycling, or play games with your kids. Though Thanksgiving is and will always be associated with heavenly feast of foods, the underlying beauty of this special occasion is about reliving the special bond of a family. Make this year’s Thanksgiving more laughable and unforgettable by striking up some funny Thanksgiving quotes that will definitely stir some hearty laughter and smiles all throughout the night.

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Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ―Jim Davis

Jim Davis

“Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.”

Nicole Hollander

Having thanksgiving with the in-laws and apparently we’re all very thankful for our smartphones.―HammBone

HammBone

If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed—like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. ―Ted Nugent

Ted Nugent

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If there’s a better way of showing thanks than eating a large bird followed by pie, I’d like to see it. ―Jake Vig

Jake Vig

“We’re having something different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.”

George Carlin

We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink. ―Epicurus

Epicurus

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.”

Kevin James

Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ―Michael Dresser

Michael Dresser

“It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.”

Phyllis Diller

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. ―Kin Hubbard

Kin Hubbard

“I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I’m thankful for that.”

Howie Mandel

Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line. ―John Lyon

John Lyon

“The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?’”

Jim Gaffigan

What is sauce for the goose may be sauce for the gander but is not necessarily sauce for the chicken, the duck, the turkey or the guinea hen. ―Alice B. Toklas

Alice B. Toklas

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.”

Jay Leno

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ―Irv Kupcinet

Irv Kupcinet

“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shotgun going, Blam! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”

Kenny Rogerson

We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. ―George Carlin

George Carlin

“If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There’s turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.”

Mitch Hedberg

Enjoy these funny thanksgiving quotes with your friends and family.

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