An inefficient virus kills its host. A clever virus stays with it.


Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.


Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty. 


Sink or swim. Either way, you are going to get wet.


I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.


If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.


You’re pretty close to perfect when you’re standing next to me.


They say never judge a book by its cover but they also said a picture is worth a thousand words.


I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it.


The less damns you give, the happier you will be


How does a man stand on his own for when he doesn’t know how to ask for help.


If life gives you lemons….. Grab some salt, and bring on the tequila shots!!


The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.


Never spit in a man’s face unless his mustache is on fire.


Clever Quotes

I haven’t failed at anything, I’ve just found all the wrong ways of doing it.


Clever Quotes

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.


Clever Quotes

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.


Clever Quotes

Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.


Clever Quotes

When you’re at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on.


Clever Quotes

Sometimes the most clever thing to say is nothing at all.


Clever Quotes

Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.


Clever Quotes

Arguing with a fool proves there are two.


witty-sayings

“All men are the same” should be “All men I like are the same.” Girls, let’s be honest.


Clever Quotes

If you like me, then raise your hand, If not then raise your standard.


Clever Quotes

Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?


clever-quotes

It’s okay if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.


catchy-quotes

Patience: what you have when there are too many witnesses


smart-ass-quotes

If you can’t convince them, confuse them


clever-means

It’s a great act of cleverness to be able to conceal being clever


clever-phrases

My clever comebacks usually surface an hour too late


catchy-sayings

It’s funny how after an argument is over, you think about more clever things you should have said.


clever-sayings

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.


witty-quotes

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying


If I’m driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.


Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.


Love is like a rose in the winter, only the strong survive.


An eye for an eye will ultimately, leave the whole world blind.


Beware the clever man that makes the wrong look right.


The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons and morons.


Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.


In our pursuit to find the enemy we come face to face with ourselves.


When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!


The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.


If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.