Pro linemen are so huge that it takes only four of them to make a dozen.  

Q: Why did god invent football? A: So that married men have some physical contact in their lives.

Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 % temper and 10 % mental.

The place kicker attempted a field goal, but missed. He was so mad that he tried to kick himself but missed again.

The only way they can gain yardage is to run their game films backward.

I would have played football, but I have an intestinal problems – no guts.

We have so many players on the disabled list that the team’s bus can use handicapped parking.

Football is a game of inches, and that’s how some teams move the ball.

Our linebacker is so strong he can even pitch horseshoes while they’re on the horse.

Honey, I know I told you that I loved you more than football, but that was during the strike.

Old quarterbacks never die. They just pass away.

Our players have a lot on the ball. Unfortunately, it’s not usually their hands.