When will you learn that the only difference between my life and porno is my life has better lighting?

Suits are full of joy. They’re the sartorial equivalent of a baby’s smile.

The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay, whatever is more than a century.

Your ego’s writing checks your body can’t cash.

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro – I’m Broda.

Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume in case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.

ARTICLE 2: A Bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are doing it.

Believe it or not, I was not always as awesome as I am today.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

A lie is a good story that someone ruined with the truth.