Dwight Schrute Quotes

Dwight Schrute, played by Rainn Wilson, is a salesman and “Assistant to the Regional Manager” of Dunder Mifflin Company. He lacks social skills, and most of the time, common sense. In one commentary episode on the Season One DVD, Wilson described Schrute as a “fascist nerd.” He craves authority and relishes any and all tasks assigned to him by Michael Scott. Although Dwight likes to act know-it-all, he is actually naive and gullible. Because of this, he often falls victim to his fellow salesman Jim Halpert’s tricks and pranks.

If you are a fan of the US version of The Office, you will certainly find these 10 Dwight Schrute quotes hilarious and very relatable.

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In an ideal world, I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.

Dwight Schrute

Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?

Dwight Schrute

I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose… and a panther.

Dwight Schrute

I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War II veteran, killed twenty men, and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.

Dwight Schrute

803

People say, ‘oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace.’ Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.

Dwight Schrute

Congratulations on your one cousin. I have seventy, each one better than the last!

Dwight Schrute

People say, ‘oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace.’ Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.

Dwight Schrute

It’s a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.

Dwight Schrute

Nothing stresses me out. Except having to seek the approval of my inferiors.

Dwight Schrute

You couldn’t handle my undivided attention.

Dwight Schrute

Do you miss the US version of The Office? These 10 Dwight Schrute quotes will definitely send you on a happy trip down memory lane.