You love divorce so much, you’re probably gonna marry it and then it won’t work out, so you’re gonna have to divorce it.


And remember, if I’m harsh with you it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.


You can’t just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?


We swallow our feelings, even if we’re unhappy forever. Sound good?


Honey, you have principles and I so admire that. I don’t have any.


Until I was 25, I thought the right response to “I love you” was “Oh, crap!”