Teacher Jokes

If you are a teacher (or close to one), you will certainly agree if we say that teaching is a stressful job. However, even though the job is very demanding, we still find it absolutely fulfilling whenever we see some of our students excel inside the classroom.

Laughter is indeed a great medicine. We have collected 21 funny teacher jokes, puns, and anecdotes based on everyday experiences and stories from both teachers and students that will help you get through the day. If you are feeling drained from the heavy task, all you need to do is to read some of these to chase the stress away.

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Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?

Teacher: Of course not

Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.

Teacher: ‘Craig, you know you can’t sleep in my class.’

Craig: ‘I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.’

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

A: Look at the board and I will go through it again.

A first grade teacher handed out a coloring page to her students – on it was a picture of a frog holding an umbrella.

When the class handed them in, one little boy had colored the frog bright purple. The teacher scolded him, asking, “How often have you seen a purple frog?”

The little boy answered, “The same number of times I’ve seen a frog holding an umbrella.”

1435

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?

A: Because his class was so bright!

Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?

Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

Q: How is an English teacher like a judge?

A: They both give out sentences.

Q: What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?

A: Pick them up and roll them back

Q: Teacher: Didn’t I tell you to stand at the end of the line?

A: Student: I tried but there was someone already there!

Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, ‘What did you learn today?’ Kid replies, ‘Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.’

Q: Why did the teacher go to the beach?

A: To test the water.

The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said …”I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”

Q: Teacher: If you got $20 from 5 people, what do you get?

A: Student: A new bike.

Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.

Pupil: Life imprisonment!

Q: Why did closing her eyes remind the teacher of her classroom?

A: Because there were no pupils to see.

Q: What do you call a teacher without students?

A: Happy

Q: Why did the teacher turn the lights on?

A: Because her class was so dim.

Teacher: Megan, why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?

Megan: You said we had to do it without tables!

Q: Teacher: What is the shortest month?

A: Student: May, it only has three letters.

Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, “Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life.”

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, “Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda.”

Q: Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?

A: She couldn’t control her pupils!

Classroom experiences should not always be serious. As a matter of fact, you need to lighten up in order to bring out the best not only from yourself but also from your students. These 21 teacher jokes will definitely bring more fun to your otherwise tiresome job.