An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the  earth.

If you hold a four-leaf shamrock in your left hand at dawn on St. Patrick’s Day you get what you want very much but haven’t wished for.

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.

You gotta try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not even know it.

There are only two kinds of people in the world, The Irish and those who wish they were.

St. Patrick — one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish.

It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there’s no money!

The legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking … that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes.

About Our Funny St. Patrick’s Day Quotes

It’s true, St. Patrick’s Day is a significant religious event for Ireland’s most loved patron saintㄧSt. Patrick. He is considered as one of the most notable religious figures in the country who have helped in converting the natives into Christians. But in addition to spiritual appreciation, this holiday is a highly anticipated event because there will be several gatherings and the country will be figuratively and physically painted in greenㄧ tons of shamrock decorations and Irish people bleeding green. Just kidding. But seriously though, expect for a fun and exciting celebration because March 17 is a very important date, not just for the Irish people but also for those who claim to be one even for just a day. Lively St. Patrick Days parades are held all over the world, drawing different nationalities into one. Enjoy the vibrant Irish tradition with some tasty Irish food and funny Irish quotes. Here are some funny St. Patrick’s Day quotes that might save you in case you need to crack a joke during this very important day!